So, i officially fail! I've had no time to write in my blog, that and the fact that my computer isn't set up in the house and the only other 'family' one is taken ALL the time (blergh).


So yesterday i came back from my short holiday, my grandparents own a beach house on the coast and it is just so beautiful! A little limestone cottage, with lush green grass (and many spiders :c ).
I didn't end up even going for a swim at the beach, the weather was off and on the whole time and the fact that i gained like 2 full kilos didn't make me feel so flash hot either. 
It was relaxing anyway, we spend NYE up there, i went to some small family party and didn't do much else. 
I went up there with my bf, siblings and grandparents. 
We went on a 10m motor boat my cousin had made which was fabulous! We got to see the seals on this little island in the middle of the sea. They stunk, like... really really bad. 


Mostly i just relaxed, drank, and vsed my partner in chess (i kicked his ass every time). So pretty un-eventful, but peaceful.


We've come back to find that my partners mother wants to get a divorce! My partners dad has been really angry lately. It's only when he drinks too much beer (which is becoming quite frequent) he's had heart troubles and i dont think this heart medication is mixing well with all the alcohol! 


So that's pretty sad, but he can get violent towards everyone, so i figure, safety first! And theres no point staying with someone if you're not happy, and she's not, so yeah.


I'm so worried about my brother, he's going down the wrong path, ever since my dad died he's been smoking a shit tonne of pot (he's only 14 or 15?) stealing, lying, drinking so much booze and just hanging with the wrong crowd. It doesn't help that he's new gf is such a bad influence and his best friend got expelled from their private school for smoking weed and selling it. Great.


ALSO i neeeeeed need neeed to get my license! I'm just so desperate to be able to drive myself places and not be so dependent on everyone else.  I can't remember if i explained it in my previous posts, but in Australia we need to fill out log books of 120 hours of driving practice. If you don't fill it out you can't get your license. I completed mine but had left it at my father's house for him to sign off on the hours. Yeah well... i have no idea where it is and i have to apply for certain exemptions and it's taken well over 4 months now. I can't get a job if i don't have a license because the area i want to work in (Real Estate) a license is basically essential. 


So much stress ! Grrr.
I had a baby scare a week or so ago. I forgot a pill one night (but took it in the morning) I had been eating like a fat pig for 3 weeks and my sense of smell had gone strange, AND i was late for my period for over 5 days. I did pregnancy tests, both were negative, but i never have an appetite, and it was very ferocious as i was craving bizarre foods that were just weird. 


Anyway on my holiday i got a surpriseeee, it was annoying but good at the same time >.> I must have been over stressed with Christmas and NYE and just everything.


I'm really not impressed with the weight gain though, so it's 2pm and i've eaten nothing! (I'd fast but dinner is lurking and i can't get out of that one so easily) So i'll see if i can restrict as much as possible! Need to be slim.


On my holiday i saw heaps of girls in bikinis parading around the beach. I asked my sister who i looked the most similar to in body shape, she picked one out and i almsost threw up. She was sooo chubby! I said 'omg i must be so fat then...' and my sister was like .. 'Um you're not fat at all and neither is she, you tard!'
I didn't see it that way though. My sister is only 13 but she's an inch taller than me and weighs 52 ( i weigh almost 54 as of this morning) but she looks so much tinier than me, i don't know if it's all in my head or not, i can fit the same clothes as her, but her figure just seems soooo... far way.


ANYWAY sorry for the extremely long post but i figured i should keep you updated.


BTW I'm on the hunt for some good diet pills (or anything to assist in weight loss) If anyone has any kind of advice or suggestions, PLEASE, i'm in desperate need!


XX