Gardening!

I used to hate it, now I find there is something serene about being in the garden in the sun, also great way to burn calories! I look completely stupid though, i wear a sombrero as my skin is so so white, I burn very easily, however, i still think i manged to burn  today though :/ I'm starting to nest (Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the "nesting" instinct can set in. This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the baby) So, i was at my mother in law's and started to clean her garden and sort out her pots as there were lots of nasty spiders living behind/inside them. Took a few hours, but i feel accomplished now. Too bad i didn't get the urge at my own house, might look a bit neater if i had V_V. I'm getting very creative atm with making my boyfriend's dinners, home made (super low cal - sneaky) chicken burgers the other night. Tonight I am making him chicken parma's (mine won't be so nasty though) and i'm adding salads with EVERY meal, with mushroom, capsicum, lettuce, olives, cucumber, pickles with a mixture of a tiny helping of low cal mayo and sweet chilli sauce. Delicious! At least it's making me eat a lot healthier.


I HATE CRAVINGS.


I felt so guilty, i made boyfriend (right after dinner) drive to McDonalds to get me a DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER AND A LARGE CARAMEL SUNDAE. I gobbled it right up. Because i'm a fat fat fatttttty. Gr. It's so hard to control the cravings for food, i need to find healthier options. Any suggestions please? All the weight i lost when i had morning sickness has come straight back on and i'm very pissed off. My belly is looking bigger than ever now, 18 weeks in two days. Blergh.


xx

2 years

It was my boys and my 2 year anniversary yesterday. Since we're so tight for money we decided to eat in instead. I spoiled him with things i wouldn't normally cook, with barbecue ribs (his fave) and homemade spiced potato wedges and a delish salad. Creme Brulee for dessert with choc dipped strawberries and champagne in a beautiful steamy spa bath.

He got me beautiful flowers and some cute underwear.
It was great :) xx

16 weeks.

I'm sixteen weeks pregnant, have a huge firm belly that looks like i've been drinking waaaay to much beer and i'm triggered.




First 3 months of being pregnant was bliss (in a fucked up way). I was so sick and tired and lacking of any energy I couldn't keep down any food and the thought of everything i loved made me dry reach.
I don't know how much i lost in that period, I hadn't weighed myself since I moved out (over like 4 months). But everyone started commenting, 'omg honey you look waaaay to skinny, like sickly, you have no thighs! (my problem area) are you eating? you look so sick" Of course i loved that. I didn't see it at all, but i did feel certainly.. lighter.

THEN, as soon as week 12 passed, i've been disregarding any sane thoughts and have been pigging out to the extreme. Hungry jacks, McDonalds, fat fat fatty foods! My appetite is outrageously out of hand and i need to eat every 20 minutes.

A week ago I saw myself in the mirror and definitely knew I had gained, i felt so guilty, so ashamed! I just thought 'That's it, i'm getting my fat ass into gear, It's time to restrict to the EXTREME!' I put it off until yesterday, i had my first ante-natal appointment. They weighed me.
52 kilos on the dot.
That's what i was before i was pregnant. WHICH MEANS, if i've gained weight, i have to have at least been in the 40's! You have no idea how triggering that thought is for me, it's like a drive! I feel like i was in an acceptable weight range for once in the last 5 years! I can do it, if i've been there already i can get there again! I can't, not yet anyway.

Only ... 20 something more weeks to go, pop the baby out, and FAST FAST FAST. I'll get back there again, i'll be a yummy mummy (lmao) I'll be one of those 19 year old mums that everyone sees and is jealous of how fast they lost their baby weight.

I'm actually excited for the challenge, i don't feel hopeless, funnily enough.
Just very very motivated and driven.


My sanity has kicked in though, no more shit food, it's time to hold myself responsible, i will not be like the average woman and gain like 15-20 kg during a pregnancy, I will only allow for a max of 11. 


Why let myself go and make it harder to lose the weight when i eventually give birth.


How is everyone? Miss you guys heaps! Sorry i haven't posted, been so... not in the right frame of mind.
xx

Pregnant.

I found out Sunday.
I hate food.
I morally could not terminate it, or give it up.
:(  I'm keeping it.

I feel like, a drop-kick 19 year old who managed to get herself pregnant.
People are going to judge me. Lame.

Bright

I'm feeling extremely supurb! It's 12:00pm and this is my 3rd day of eating nothing. On Sunday night i felt extremely bloated and disgusting i told myself then and there i was fasting for minimum 3 days.  I've been doing Zumba each day AND i have a new work out video which is so fabulous! Kickboxing for dummies. Apparently doing the work out you can burn up to 700 calories. I broke a river of sweat last night while I did that.

ATM i'm babysitting my siblings for an entire week while my grandparents are overseas. It's great, i give myself the smallest of portions and then when no one is looking i throw the food onto my sisters plate (she knows i'm on a fast).

I just went for a job interview at Bakers Delight (lol) I think i did reasonably well and i have a trial on Monday.
Life is good right now. :)

Hope all you ladies are doing well too

xx

I hate Sundays!

Sundays remind me of when i used to go to school, i'd get this feeling of dread and felt sick.

Fortunately, I don't have school tomorrow, but i have no work either :( Which is really beginning to make me depressed.
Over the last few days i've been noticing my stomach has been .. getting bigger. I'm late for my period but you can't be 'showing' within a month. So the final outcome is IM A FAT BUSHPIG :(

So i just got my Zumba back and am trying out Jillian Michael's 30 day shred.

Urgh i really really want to love sushi. It's so good for you and i just can't eat it. So i got some veggie ones and am forcing myself to eat it.

So i wake up in the morning..

and run down to 7/11 and get some sugar free Red Bulls!
My sister stayed over last night and wanted pizza, so we shared a veggie one. She offered me some this morning. It was SO hard to say no. I love pizza. I just waited till i got some energy drinks!
I've dropped her off to school and am just bummin around sipping my drinks while my hands are about to fall off  from the cooold!

I made the best purchase last week, I invested in a pair of gorgeous panda mittens! They are the best for these cold icy mornings. Especially when i'm driving places! I feel as though i can't steer properly and my fingers will snap :/

So it's Friday (lol reminded of that Rebecca Black song.. ew) and my man get's an early finish today! His in carpentry and his boss is going away for the weekend, so they started earlier at like 6 and he finishes at 11:30, WOO! Cept i have counselling at 12:00pm, and i CBF! It's just annoying, I usually have it on Monday's but i had no petrol and had to postpone until today. Waaahhh.

OBTW Check out my Tumblr! It's not a weight loss one, but i might make one soon. It's more just a collection of photo's i particularly like.
http://smallasapanda.tumblr.com/ 


Have a lovely day ladies <3
xxx

Not to mimic one of the best blogs ever (Zette) but i just found this photo, chunky legs on the left and tiny on the right.

x